I have long been free of my JobLandTM employment. I mean free because that is what it felt like when I was there – trapped or something. I have been talking to a friend still unable to free himself from their clutches, and what little morale was alive when I was there, has been beaten out of anyone remaining. Things went sour in the morale department very quickly. This is always amazing to watch – something plummet when you thought it was already the lowest it could be.
I had all kinds of mini-dramas with the HR department, most of which have already been chronicled here. One that I haven’t mentioned entirely dealt the “contract” that I had with JobLandTM.
I was rehired last year around the end of January, along with a number of new people. About 3 months later – the head of HR came down to the receiving department and angrily handed out letters chastizing us for not signing the “contract”. So we gathered around, all those holding letters, and wondered what the heck this was. What contract? We’d never heard of such a thing. To get a letter which was very non-complimentary about our contract signing habits was most confusing. NOT ONE of us knew what this was all about, but it seemed that EVERYONE who had been hired/rehired at that time of year had gotten the mystery letter. Not one of us had heard of the contract before. No one could figure out why they simply hadn’t come down and suggested we read/sign this contract thing. For some reason, and I can’t remember exactly why – I decided to hell with their paperwork, I was going to look into it when and only when they decided to approach me in a more appropriate manner about it.
So months passed and I had not found a reason to go up to the HR office since they had oddly enough decided to pay me properly for that period of time. Very oddly. However, at one point I had to go up there, it was undeniably a good reason, couldn’t be avoided, and for the life of me I cannot now remember what it was. So up I went. They refused to talk to me until I signed the “contract”.
So I sat down at the desk, and was handed this piece of paper and a pen. I started to read it, she took it from me, and told me “NO, no, you don’t have to read it – just sign it.
!!!!!!! ????????
Well, I don’t know what planet they were from, but I could barely think after that – with all the warning flags and sirens and lights and stuff flashing in my brain and whatnot.
I pointed out, perhaps in too vocally defiant a manner, that if I was not able to read it first then they were simply out of luck in getting me to sign it. Visions of being fired ran through my head. Nope, she simply let me read it. Well, Thank you!
It seemed fair, and was really what I’d expected all along was the case, so I signed it. Then I asked for a copy. This was not to be. Apparently, I was not allowed to get a copy of it (but I just F*&#^&@ing signed it!) and no amount of calm discussion on the matter would change their minds. So I left it at that. I began to wish I remembered exactly what it had said.
A few months later all kinds of shit began to hit the fan. JobLandTM was moving to a new location, and combining its staff from another warehouse into one big building. However, the problem was that people wouldn’t get to keep the exact job they had – and the whole thing was going to go on about itself deciding strictly with seniority. Any system that arbitrary and fucked up is sure to cause aneurysms. This was not a unionized company – they might have not had to put up with this kind of crap – nor myself for that matter – with the kind I just stated, or the kind I am about to describe. However, morale hit a new low. Then it went lower.
We had these building meetings describing how the move was going to go. We were oft assured by Mr. Bigwig that “don’t worry – you’ll ALL have jobs and we’ll take care of you”. He always wondered why a few of us laughed when he said that. You could smell the shit on his breath. During one such meeting someone asked a particularly difficult question of him, reading right through the large volumes of bullshit he was spouting and asking a question which I’m sure was on everyone’s mind anyway. There was a long silence…. then my supervisor laughed and fled the area, then this feeble response from Mr. Bigwig and then he immediately asked if that person was on “contract”. He was, so he was immediately led away (I thought he got fired, but that wasn’t the case). Then the HR person came down and started reading a list of names, including mine. It was like we were being lead away to get shot in the darker part of the parking lot. We were no longer welcome at the meetings after that (although I managed to sneak off to a few a couple of times later on anyway). Perhaps they were afraid we’d attempt to orchestrate a regime change.
At this point in time I decided to renew my efforts to actually get my greasy hands on the now infamous “contract”. Thwarted time and time again – I now tried a slant that would get me some sympathy – I told them that I needed it for issues pertaining to my student loan (not). You see, it was no longer MY initiative that sent me up there to bug them, I needed it to provide it to another evil force entirely. Eventually, after 2 weeks (thank God I didn’t really need it) they provided me with, no, not a copy of the “contract” but with a letter to the student loan people saying that if they needed any information this was the number to contract. Gee thanks. I openly worried that this wouldn’t be good enough but was then told that the “contract” was the property of the company and I had no right to read it, or to have a copy of it. It was a private file that I shouldn’t have even read in the first place. Oh. Wow. What made me think that this was not above board was that she wouldn’t ever look at me when she was saying any of this, and always tried to change the discussion to the weather and whatnot. I had no desire to discuss the weather. I have never seen someone more uncomfortable.
I had decided that if I had signed a copy of a contract then I was entitled to a copy of that contract legally. it just made sense to me. So, they’d put me out of commission on that matter, having seemingly placated my “contract” desires.
When I start trouble I generally do not act upon my ideas myself. If I thought of a hard question to ask Mr. Bigwig I’d tell it to someone else, and encourage THEM to ask it. Hey – then I can unleash my brainchild without getting in the line of any return fire that might come from the target. Smart or cowardly… I’m not sure which. In this case I had the deep seated need to stir up further trouble. So I enlisted everyone else with a contract to go up there and demand a copy of it. Sadly, most of these people hadn’t read it in the first place, and had blindly signed it. They were especially interested in it now, since they were curious about the contents of this mysterious document that was now relegating them to third class citizens in JobLandTM.
So this stirred up all kinds of trouble. We were all rounded up at once and addressed as a whole with two distinct parts to the meeting. No, we were not going to get a copy of what was an internal document that was the property of the company. This caused a sizable uproar, which please me to some degree (others were finally on my side). When that “contract” clamor died down, the second part of the meeting began. “So guys, we’ve decided morale is a bit low, so to boost it we started a contest. Who can write their favourite childhood heartwarming story about those woolen striped Bay blankets that everyone has”? Expletives ensued.
Yeah, oh yeah – the JobLandTM warehouse was the Hudson’s Bay Company. The oldest company in North America, and obviously well practiced in the art of fucking over their employees. I guess in all that time you pick up a few skills here and there.
We countered this attempt at boosting morale with a heartwarming story of a young native boy who sadly dies of smallpox which was spread by the Hudson’s Bay Company (unwittingly) via the bay blanket. This was mostly historically accurate. Sadly, we won no prizes, but this was likely due to the fact we submitted it anonymously. Shucks – it was a good story.
One contract employee decided to quit and talked to HR again about getting a copy of the contract. They gave him one! Sadly, he left before sharing it with any of us. I went up there with this information. Well you gave ________ one! Sadly, I never saw the HR person who gave it to him again. Her seniority had crashed.
Through a source I was contacted by someone who didn’t want their informant identified (paranoia was common). He said that this other employee also failed to get a copy of the “contract” and had pursued legal action. Word had it that the contract was illegal, they shouldn’t have done it, it was a mistake, and that they were covering that up.
This was getting interesting.
At this point another “contract” employee pointed out to me that he HAD a copy of the contract. When he had been asked to sign it, and they had refused to let him read it, he’d fought that as well. When she wasn’t looking, he pilfered a blank copy off the stack on the desk and spirited it successfully away to safety. Cool. Now we had a copy of the beast.
So here it is. Read it and you’ll wonder what the big deal about keeping this from one’s employees is all about. When you figure it out, let me know, I’m still scratching my melon about that one.
Temporary PositionI, __________________ understand that the position for which I have been hired is temporary and is expected to terminate no later than December 31, 2002.
Signed: __________________
Witnessed: __________________
Date: __________________
Thats it. Wots the big deal??
At this point I contact the British Columbia Government to investigate the legalities of keeping a “contract” from employees who had signed it. It seems that if I was a unionized employee, they wouldn’t have the right to keep it from me. However, it was perfectly legal if I was non union, which I was. WTF?
At this point my personal interest in the matter fizzled. Since I had no real leg to stand on, and it was simply a moral issue rather than a legal one, I let it drop. Others didn’t, but they never got a copy of it either. One day, however, we photocopied (on company photocopiers – of course!) a copy of the “contract” and left them littered about the entire building. Threw a few under the door of the HR office too. I hope that stirred up something behind the scenes.