Tomorrow marks a ten year anniversary for me. Tomorrow it has been 10 years since I’ve had a cup of coffee.
Whaaaaaaa?
I’m sure there are those out there stunned at this revelation. No coffee? How could anybody survive without coffee? Especially someone going through University, and getting up at 5am for their job? Some of you are already throwing on a jacket to make a late day pilgrimmage to their local starbucks just to cleanse themselves of the dirty thoughts of not having coffee for so long. If the thought of not having coffee for so long scares you, give you a case of the shakes, or makes you feel sleepy… I should further rub in that it was easy for me to quit it. I don’t LIKE coffee. Hate the stuff, hate the taste, don’t like drinking hot things, etc… so the match between me and coffee was never made in the first place.
Oh, and I’ve NEVER had Kraft dinner. So there!
I used to be able to say that I’d never had KoolAid… but that distinction was destroyed a few years ago by a friend of mine. A sly, sneaky, friend of mine…
Friend: would you like something to drink?
Me: sure
Friend: juice?
Me: sure
Friend: here is your juice 😉
Me: thanks
The juice she delivered to me was in a black coffee cup… so I couldn’t really scrutinize the juice before consuming it. This was all part of the plan of my sly, sneaky, friend. The scrutiny that my cup of juice and I were undergoing before I’d consumed it had been noted by my brain, but not interpreted as anything sly or sneaky. I had failed to take a drink of my juice for several minutes and my sly, sneaky friend pointed this out:
Friend: you have failed to take a drink of your juice for several minutes!
Me: yeah
So i took a drink. It was most certainly NOT juice. I was immediately informed my my sly, sneaky, and now smirking friend that it was in fact NOT juice – it was KoolAID! And worse still, it was the purple kind.
Friend: it was in fact NOT juice – it was KoolAID! The purple kind!
Me: @#%($@^@
This still haunts me to this day. I wake up screaming in the middle of night, drenched in a purple sweat, visions of black coffee cups dancing in my head. The horror… the horror…
She has since promised to covertly introduce Kraft dinner into my diet, but if handed a black coffee cup of KD under the guise of juice, I like to think I’d be sly and sneaky enough to realize that its NOT juice. Maybe.
I shall have my revenge (eventually)!