Old bags

A local grocery store recently made paper bags available once again. I asked why – and they said that “we’ve always had them, but people had to request them”. I haven’t seen anyone with one for years. Fine, but I didn’t request it – why am I getting paper this time? “We’ve always had the policy of giving them to you if you had only a few items”. I pointed out that she just said we needed to request them. I also pointed out that I bought one loaf of bread last week and nothing more, and I received a plastic bag. She had no explanation. I didn’t push the matter.

On the side of my newly acquired paper bag it says “We bag your savings”. I’ve pondered this statement for a while. In order for them to be MY savings, I’d still have to have them in my possession. After all, I’VE saved them, so they can’t be anyone else’s or I wouldn’t have been able to save them in the first place. So how could THEY bag MY savings unless I’d given them my savings in the first place, in which case I WOULDN’T”T have saved ANYTHING!???? I don’t understand. I’d imagine, after the paper/plastic debacle just moments earlier, that even a polite inquisition about the savings slogan would have merely started trouble. No actual explanation would have been acquired. Security would inevitably be called. Again.

I ran this slogan by a friend. HIS interpretation of it, immediately, was that they have another metaphorical bag somewhere where they are dumping all of your savings after they shake as much money from you in the store that they can. So when they bag your savings, it is really just pointing out that you’ve been ripped off and all your savings are now in their possession. Maybe it should read: “We bag your life savings”?

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