JobLandTM

I learned something recently. I discovered that there is something worse than not having a job, looking for a job, and barely getting enough money to pay rent: having a job! Of course, I haven’t gotten a job in my “field”. I’m currently working in a warehouse. While JobLandTM does pay 10 dollars an hour (minimum is around 8), I’m not sure if the abuse that I am currently putting my body through is all worth it. At JobLandTM I load boxes onto palettes from shipping containers. These containers are shipped from Korea, China, and Indonesia so occasionally my biology “training” comes into play when I am asked to come and witness the “scorpion” that has been found on one of the boxes. While reports of strange and rather poisonous insects are not strictly rumor, this one incident only resulted in the viewing of a rather squashed lizard of some kind. Many of you might know the difference between a lizard with a really long tail and a scorpion, but many of you aren’t the sort of folks who frequent warehouse work. The offending lizard is now taped to the wall and I can only presume, as a warning to others. I have no idea if this is something that is normally done to stowaways in these containers, but lets hope that it is not a policy that will be adapted for any human cargo that these containers may contain.

A coworker, a smart coworker, called the place the “Planet of the apes”. He’s pretty close there. The “cool” ID tag I get to wear doesn’t quite make up for it. It sports the big shiny words: “New Hire Employee” which was initially interpreted by the more experienced JobLandTM inmates as “target” but now has been amended to the only slightly less annoying “scapegoat”.

Most of my friends still go to school. So if I were to ask one of them what they did today I might hear something like this: “Well, we sat in the sun for a while, we went to one class, but ended up skipping the rest of them to go somewhere very exciting”. If I were to be asked what I did today it would go something like this: “I got up at 6 to start working at 7 and then I moved roughly (and I’m not exaggerating) 36 000 pounds of boxes onto a rolling track where they were sorted. In the afternoon I moved onto HEAVY boxes.” Of course, I SHOULD say that I made 75 bucks today and leave it at that, but I’m kind of good at complaining and don’t wish to give up my favourite pastime just yet.

I also managed to educate the JobLandTM HR department on the difference, however subtle, between a bank account number ending in 6577 and 5555. This particular data entry abomination meant I didn’t get paid when I was supposed to. This all culminated in a trip to the JobLandTM retail outlet to get my pay in cash form rather than direct deposit to my bank account which would have been infinitely more convenient. Oh, the week long wait for this money wasn’t nice either.

I don’t normally swear out loud very often. However, I have been warned about my language TWICE by supervisors at JobLandTM. This really sucked, especially considering the fact that the second time I was not aware of having had an audience. Craptacular! This week I fully expected to be fired. This was largely due to the fact that I had Monday off. When I got in on Tuesday I was made fully aware that I had looked at the wrong schedule and in fact I did NOT have Monday off. I still have my job, but it really looked like I was going to be terminated right then and there. This would have been somewhat of a mixed blessing. The four other guys who relied on me to look at the schedule for them were not amused either. I doubt I will be trusted with that again.

It’s not all bad. Another coworker and I were discussing the lack of intelligence (and knowledge) emanating from some of the other workers. You should see how some of these guys struggle to stack boxes so they won’t fall over. I mentioned something about a “superiority complex”. He pointed out that its not a superiority “complex” if you ARE better than the others. Hmmm…..

While I have been working at JobLandTM I haven’t stopped looking for a biology related job. Sure, I have applied to many, but so far nothing has panned out. Lets hope I don’t find a bio job that leads me to daydream of my days at the warehouse!

Some municipalities/cities have been banning the use of lawn pesticides and other chemicals. Now, I see these sorts of products as completely useless because I do not hold the priority of a “neat and tidy” lawn as anything that we should be striving for. Sure, cut the damn stuff, but if you are truly so lazy as to want a weed free lawn, get down on your damn knees and pull the weeds out with your hands. For the uninitiated, “hands” are those things at the end of your arms that have “fingers” that can be used to grasp, touch, and point at things (not just that one finger you use in traffic). My parental units have never used pesticides or lawn fertilizers on their grass. The thing is chock full of weeds, clover, dandelions etc. This lawn never gets watered, never gets weeded. Interesting then that it never goes brown in the summer and isn’t leaching crap into the aquifer below. I really don’t understand why people hold lawns as a priority. I think my parents lawn looks better than most. Its “multicultural”. I’ve had this same argument at JobLandTM on a few occasions. While this may not be the first place one should go for an educated opinion, I got the response of something like: “how dare you take away my right to pollute my neighbors drinking water, the environment, and poison the children so that I don’t have to look at unsightly weeds and flowers growing in my beloved “natural” green carpet thing”! Its probably something I’ll never get to, but I intend to talk about this here a little more in the future.

Oh, the Vancouver area transit strike is finally over. The government finally got off its ass after around 120 days and legistlated them back to work. For our troubles, the company will be giving three free days of transit service which Im sure everyone will agree, more than makes up for 4 months of no way to get around. Funny how when the students, the poor, and the others without cars complained, nothing was done. Now that big business has pointed out its objections, everything gets cleared up. This was a huge bag of crap, but it doesn’t surprise me.

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