So I get home tonight and what do I discover? Mouse droppings in my sink. What the hell is this? Now, my place is by no means a palace, and may harbor the odd spider that has to be dealt with from time to time… but not usually this kind of vermin intrusion. Just before I descended into (yet) another raving conniption about life in general, I looked more closely at the presents in my sink. It turns out that they are nothing more than seeds that came from the bagels that I eat. Cancel the air strikes, the firebombing, the complaints to the people upstairs who own the place.

So now I am eating a bagel, and something just doesn’t feel quite right about it, but I can’t figure out just what….

Ah yes, so yesterday was Valentines day. I don’t think that a friend of mine could have put it more eloquently or appropriately when they stated : “Happy @$@##$@#$ Valentines day!”. My sentiments exactly!

This is a day that should be put at the top of the list of commercial “holidays” second perhaps only to Christmas. Its just that I don’t really like being told that I HAVE to give somebody something on a specific day (anniversaries are a different matter). This is not to say that I wouldn’t do it (which I certainly would – what? do I look stupid?) just that I feel that spontaneous, unexpected gifts and things are better. I certainly prefer giving those ones (as opposed to gifts that are expected on a certain day), and I prefer receiving them as well (a working theory). At least then I am not subjected to people jacking up their prices for specific events (like roses etc. on Valentines day). They should call the whole thing: “buy something from the florist or get in trouble day”. I guess I am just bitter. I had plenty to say about this yesterday, but today my “anger” has subsided. Oh well.

Tomorrow I have that fateful Archaeology 344 midterm, the one where nobody knows what is on the exam because the professor fled to a foreign country and the fill-ins haven’t known what to cover. It should be interesting. There is nothing better than looking at an exam question and not knowing ANY of what it is referring to. This is something that didn’t even happen during my hieroglyphics/Organic Chemistry exam. It should be interesting, in a train wreck sort of way.

Today I almost killed someone. Don’t jump to conclusions – let me explain this. I stopped my car before a crosswalk, on a two lane road (each way). I wanted to let four people on the sidewalk cross the road. Simple right? Not exactly – the guy behind me got pissed off because I stopped, showed me two of his fingers, honked, and promptly passed me just as the people crossing were to step in front of his car. Luckily, they didn’t, but he didn’t slow down either. So after about 5 cars had gone by in the lane next to me, one finally stopped. So the people were now in the middle of the road, but were still blocking the guy next to me, but I left at that point. Since I was really doing a round the block U-turn (three rights make a left) I came back on the same road (heading the other way) and they were STILL THERE!!!! – waiting to cross the other two lanes. Now maybe they weren’t the aggressive sort of pedestrian (since you are sort of at weight a disadvantage) that really makes it look like they are about to step in front of you. This is how I usually do it – make like I’m going to step in front of them (even though I’m not). If they have a problem with this – its a CROSSWALK – and they’ll just have to deal with the 10 seconds of their life that will stand still. Maybe those people are still standing there, waiting to cross the road.

This is something that is getting really bad – nobody can cross the road anymore. Its as though I can almost kill someone by stopping for them, because frequently nobody else will in the oncoming lanes. I flash my lights, and I frequently get the finger from oncoming motorists, and not the little one.

I sort of got enraged at this today – I really wonder why drivers aren’t retested every so often. I personally would dislike the cost that I would have to bear by being retested every 5 years or so, but the thought that maybe this gets a few idiots off the road might be worth it. I have raised this point before. People whine and complain that they might lose their licenses if this happened : “I need my car to get to work” they whine. Sure – but if you can’t drive it well enough to pass the REALLY easy drivers test that people get then you don’t deserve the privilege.

–Its like coloring (and not much harder) – I don’t’ know why more people can’t stay between the damn lines.

–Slow down – YOU AREN”T A FIRE TRUCK! Today I saw a guy put his BMW on two wheels when he was taking a corner at SFU. This is the kind of person who kills others (This has already happened more than once recently at SFU).

–Don’t get pissed of with me just because I only go 10 over the speed limit. All the gesturing, honking and swearing isn’t going to make you get to class faster. In fact, this tends to make me slow down. HA!

–Red lights aren’t suggestions – some people feel the need to negotiate. There can’t be that many colorblind people can there?

— If you rear-end me, don’t pass me and then try to look for two adjacent parking spots in downtown Vancouver (Robson and Thurlow) on a Saturday afternoon before Christmas while I frantically attempt to follow you through the traffic. Why can’t smart people hit me?

You can call the police (hands free phone of course…) and say that there is a probable drunk driver in front of you on the road – but can you call them and say that the moron in front of you is weaving everywhere, bouncing off of curves, and going 30 in a 60 zone because they rather engrossed in their telephone conversation? It think you might get laughed at. This goes for other things too – I have seen people reading books, shaving etc. Once I even saw a guy with a plate on the dashboard above his speedometer – and he was eating from it with a fork (on the freeway no less). Once I was driving home from my college with someone who insisted on studying while they drove. What the hell is that? If you insist on weaving around while trying to read notes in your lap then you can take someone with you to hell other than me!

If we were subject to retesting every five years with a road test there would be a lot of complaining and whining. Really, there isn’t probably a politician with the balls to do it, BC’s Attorney General from the New Dumb, Dumber, Dumbest Party of BC (NDDDP) recently backed down on his call to make it illegal to drive while operating a hand held cell phone. I really doubt that anybody would have the guts to create/enforce a law that changed the Motor Vehicle Act in such a way to enact retesting every 5 years. Still, I think that it would be a good idea and if people cannot past such a rudimentary test – then they shouldn’t be licensed to drive a dangerous weapon around town either. When I took the drivers test I had lessons before – which basically taught me absolutely nothing. Seriously, my parents should have taken the money and thrown it in the river instead – it would have done more towards teaching me to drive than the lessons I took. The point here is that I EASILY passed the driving test – all I did wrong was that I parked too far away from the curb (2 centimeters too far). I have noticed that perhaps my vigilance on the road has waned over the years, and maybe I too could benefit from a retest. Hmmmm.

The last vestiges of washrooms with actual paper towels in them are beginning to disappear at SFU. I really have to wonder if this is a good idea. These places are already in rather poor shape – and this isn’t something that I can blame on whoever cleans them up. But the point here is that they are installing these hot air dryer things that claim that they save trees and are sanitary. I really have to wonder about the latter. First of all, these things rarely get very hot, and imagine all the bacteria riddled water that people are flicking into these things. In a warm environment, things might grow – and when its turned on again – fling all kinds of good things upon the unsuspecting hands of those using it. Maybe I am being paranoid, maybe not. The thing is, I am allergic to all kinds of things, and I would rather deal with a running nose quickly than sniff through a lecture. So what am I supposed to do now? I hardly think that toilet paper is a good option because well…. its the same reason you aren’t supposed to keep your toothbrush in the open air of the bathroom. Of course, very few people seem to care about this.

Have you ever gone ahead and done something with the preconceived notion of what the worst possible outcome is – in order to prepare yourself for it, just in case. Also, you might be attempting to justify the action in the first place, because “How bad could it be”?. Maybe assume that everything that happens will end in death – that way I am always joyous that nobody died. If you always imagine the worst – you are more often than not happier with the actual outcome.

Of course, there are exceptions to this rule. Sometimes the outcome is much worse than you ever imagined, sometimes snowballing into a debacle of immense proportions. Lets use an example : Lets say that someone says to you : “I have nothing to wear”! For purposes of example, and example only, lets say that I proceeded to the closet, flung open the doors, and said : “you call this nothing to wear”. I may have even pointed out many items that I deemed no less than spectacular, and certainly worthy of wear. This is of course an……uhmm… hypothetical example – but one where you can immediately see how things became far worse than what I…. rather – the person who said this… had anticipated.

Kudos doesn’t start with a “C” does it? I have seen this in two places recently. Maybe its the ‘merican spelling?

Well, I am embroiled in another semester and these are the courses I am taking :

BISC 407 – Population Dynamics – mathematics are used to drum all the fun out of Biology. With Success!
BISC 410– Animal Behaviour – good course, but the 8:30 hour that it is offered at infringes upon my beauty sleep.
ARCH 344 – Primate Behaviour – This is a good course, taught by a Professor that is sort of famous. However, since she isn’t here, and is no longer teaching the course, and even though the replacements are competent they clearly haven’t been supplied with enough information to make this a coherent course. Kudos, SFU – on a job well bungled.
CHEM 282 – Organic Chemistry II – I thought this was a course in hieroglyphics but apparently its Organic chemistry. There isn’t a significant difference.
I saw an ad for a car today that advertised the fact that the car had new windshield wipers. WOW – new windshield wipers!!!

To the arrogant jackass who wouldn’t hire me today because I didn’t have enough computer experience : *uck YOU!! I wish that made me feel better.

I have to hand it to Chris Carter, the man behind series such as the X-files. Twice he has inserted references to two recently canceled series that were also his creations : Millennium, and Harsh Realm. While I don’t really know if Harsh Realm was a good series, Carter certainly got shafted when this series was canceled after two episodes. Millennium was a better series than the X-files, in my opinion, yet it was canceled just as it got really interesting. What I found amusing is that Carter has inserted references to both of these series on the X-files. Twice in one episode, a character was watching Harsh Realm on television and mentioned how good it was. While I don’t really care either way, I found it interesting that he would fight back after getting screwed over by Fox Television twice in one year.

There has been controversy over widening the Stanley Park causeway probably since it was first built to funnel traffic to the Lions Gate Bridge. Since I can remember, there has been outcry – but public and governmental – that basically concerns itself with the loss of trees from Stanley Park. I consider myself to be concerned with the environmental issues of this region, but I just cannot understand why we must whine and bemoan the loss of only around 50 trees in order to widen the causeway from from 2.9 to 3.5 meters (which would significantly aid traffic flow and increase safety). Everyone seems terribly concerned with the loss of these trees – yet I don’t hardly ever hear complaints about the disappearing trees on the North Shore mountains. I haven’t lived all that long, and have been cognizant of housing issues in West and North Vancouver only in the past few years. Even in this time period – I have noticed that the altitude to which the housing on the mountains has risen to is starting to destroy the view that Vancouverites brag about. This goes for Port Coquitlam as well. I hardly think that the lost of a few trees and the highly subjective “lessening” of the beauty of Stanley Park can compare to the malignant-like spread of housing development up the skyline of the North Shore.

Another thing that has been bothering me lately is the handling of the fast ferries in BC. If you don’t know anything about this – 1) take the most irresponsible scenario you can think of concerning a government building faster ferries – 2) double the intensity of the incompetence of your scenario. To list all the infractions and truly stupid events concerning the building of these ships – well SFU only gives me 50 megs of webspace – and even that is truly inadequate to even list (much less discuss) all the incompetence concerning these floating disaster areas.

I don’t understand the outcry concerning the possibility of government aid to Canadian NHL teams either. At first I thought – HEY! – shouldn’t we be spending this on the already troubled health care system? How many industries that are both poorly, and well run have been given government aid in order to help them? I can only imagine the Billions that have been given to help companies in Canada. IF you consider that there is a federal minister of a ministry called “Canadian Heritage that gives money to crappy artists, musicians, and other things deemed to fall under the Heritage/Cultural category. I just have to think that something as Canadian as Hockey would be more important than other things that money is indiscriminately thrown at under the guise of “Heritage”.

Lets say that the 6:00 news runs two stories at the beginning of their broadcast. The first is about the terrible abuse suffered by a young child at the hand of its “parents”. The second is about the neglect of a dog in the Fraser Valley. Lets say that both stories are followed by soliciting of public money to help those afflicted by such terrible circumstances. I will bet that there will be response to the abused child, as there certainly should be. I will also bet that the amount of sympathetic response to the dog story will be much more rigorous, and that financial donations will exceed that of the abused child. What is wrong here? The outcry that I hear concerning abuse of animals is certainly justified, but I don’t think that it is warranted considering the virtual ignorance that those people often have towards child abuse. I don’t see this as having our priorities straight, but maybe thats just me.

I talked to somebody the other day who suggested that stupidity should be painful. I heartily agree. This way, you could see the “stupid” coming, and avoid interaction unless absolutely necessary. Of course, this would make doing anyting related to SFU’s administration uncomfortable to be around (even more than now).

I remember when school strikes were something that I looked forward to in elementary and secondary school. In University, this has changed considerably, especially since it might happen during midterms. I can only imagine the carnage that this would cause.

I dont’ mind watching basketball on tv, as long as I am doing something else at the same time. What makes it almost unbearable is when VTV interviews drunken idiots watching the game in a bar. Who really cares what the hell they think – and they do this during seemingly every pause in the game. VTV is why they invented the mute button.

Drugs have introduced the metric system to a whole new generation of Americans.

I think that the science has incorporated itself into my mind so much that when I look at the following picture I can only think of one thing: Myelin sheath. If you don’t know what that means – you’re not missing much.

Today I had the good fortune to have to take a “library information” session. We went to the library, and we learned how to look up all sort of books and journals and stuff. I cannot overemphasize the complete waste of time that this was. This was a FOURTH year science course, BISC 410 – Animal Behaviour. You would think that they would assume we knew how to use a damn library by now. This is the sort of thing that I learned after about a month of being at SFU – and without any library tutorial.

Why is it that whenever you put a spoon in the sink – it will automatically position itself under the tap such that when you turn on the tap water will spray everywhere. I want to know.

Today I went to my first lecture of Archeology 344 (Primate behaviour). First lectures are not normally eventful situations, with the exception of the one a few years ago that ended up with me in an ambulance headed towards the hospital, but that story is already on record here. Today, was also an event, although not as dramatically so. The prof decided that we should all introduce each other to the class, which is something that I have previously only seen in tutorials. Some people immediately fled. Introducing yourself to those who don’t care is not a particularly interesting endeavor either in tutorial, or a lecture with approximately 80 people in it. How many times can you hear : “My name is **** and I am a *th year student, my major is ***** and I took this course because………” without being disinterested. So I get up there. “My name is Mike”, which was immediately followed by a metallic crash, followed by audible expletives in my direction from the girl next to me, and then the one in front of me (though not as audible). It seems that I managed to knock over the coffee of the person next to me, dumping it in her lap, all over my feet, and splashing it onto the girl ahead of her. The first thing I notices was the classes reaction, and then remembered that coffee is very hot. Very hot. I need not point out that this really, really, sucked.

Perhaps now is an appropriate time to point out that the number one fear that people report is public speaking. The second is death. So at a funeral, we would rather be in the casket than giving the eulogy.

Recently I botched a batch of ice cream I was making. Apparently, attempting to make a batch of ice cream the day after the previous on does not allow for the freezer unit to refreeze enough. Fortunately, the real ramification of this is that the ice cream separates as it freezes. Milkshake time! Blending the whole mass together and adding something else is the only way to make it edible again – and this works fine. Unfortunately this requires a blender.

It isn’t as though I have a poor track record with blenders, its that the lack of experience can raise the possibility of problems. So I mixed, I blended, I added strawberries, I blended some more, and all I got out of it was sticky dogs. Let me explain, lest you jump to conclusions. My parents blender has, uhmmm, idiosyncrasies, which is normal since it lives in that house. I should point out at this time that I don’t live in that house. The glass “body” of the blender connects to a base, which connects to the plug in part of the blender (these technical terms are making my head spin). To make a long story short, if you lift off the glass part of the blender it separates from the base, and there is no containment for the contents of the blender body at this point. Therefore, my ice cream makes a rapid, immediate exodus from the blender, with gravity being the operative word. Imagine approximately 1.5 Liters of ice cream/strawberry milkshake cascading over the counter, down the cupboard doors, and right upon the hapless dog below. A sticky dog is not a happy dog. I was not amused either.

I’m seriously contemplating complaining about the heat situation in my suite. I keep having to run my hands under hot water in order to “de-numb” them so that I can type. Brrrrr!