1. Someone needs to get through the Deas Island Tunnel on Hwy 99 (Richmond to Ladner). This is a narrow divided 2 lane (each way) tunnel with virtually no shoulders. Some guy decides that the way he is going to get between those two cities on his BICYCLE is to go though the tunnel. Wow. He even went the extra mile and went on the side with oncoming traffic.

2. Guy shows up for work in Langley at a construction site. He discovers something he determines is a BOMB. Having determined that this is, in his opinion, a BOMB… he PICKS IT UP. He then puts in into his trunk and drives it to the POLICE STATION. Upon entering the station he declares that he found a bomb at work and has brought it to the station. I hope he didn’t start the conversation with “I have a bomb in my car parked outside”. The station is evacuated, the bomb squad called in. The experts determine that this is, in face, a POTATO GUN. Odd, I always thought potatoes rather easy to kill with simply a knife. They hardly ever even squirm.

3. I am driving through the Cassiar Tunnel (Vancouver to North Vancouver). This is a wide tunnel, with wide shoulders. I was still somewhat startled to see some woman approaching in my direction with a baby stroller inside the tunnel. She was on the shoulder but CMON! Getting close I see her with the twitches and gait of the addicts downtown… which makes this even more sad. When I get right up to her position she is merrily moseying along with a baby stroller that has FOUR watermelons in it. Just watermelons.

4. I’m at Subway this evening. This is the 2nd time I’ve been to this Subway. Im lined up for my usual sandwich with extra pickles. This particular Subway employs people all all creeds, colors and backgrounds. A good thing. This particular Subway always has people who speak little to no English, which is NOT always a good thing. I have to always get my finger pointing skill to the ready in here or I’ll get onions instead of pickles (NOT a good thing) as those words are evidently foreign. Tonight the guy ahead of me had obviously lost patience and left half way through the construction of his sandwich stating politely: “I can’t do this anymore… I’ve been patient, I’ve been polite…. You are not capable of making me a the right sandwich. Sorry. I’m sorry.” Now… while I do not understand hiring persons who cannot communicate with the vast majority of the clientèle… I understand even less the complete hostility towards these employees that I’ve encountered both on this occasion and in the past. While I did get frustrated all the time here, being unable to effectively communicate the phrases: “not toasted, no cheese, PICKLES not onions, no TWO sandwiches, no NOT toasted, no, yes, no I do not want a drink, no drink please, no thanks, just the sandwiches, yes I know the drink is in the cooler there but I do not want a drink, its a VISA card, no not debit, I can’t put a PIN number in – its a V-I-S-A card. I still managed to get the sandwiches I desired. I don’t understand being super hostile, swearing, and yelling loudly in this situation.

That is all.

New today on the list of things that suck.  I was blissfully eating popcorn.  A sharp piece of kernel gets lodged under my tongue.  This hurts.  I attempt to fish it out.   Then the taste of blood.  This will not taint my enjoyment of popcorn in the future.

You know those little skewers people put in their roast chickens etc to pin things together?  If you do the dishes, don’t just chuck them into the bottom of the sink filled with soap and water.  When you plunge your hand into the water to pull the plug you could easily emerge with one stuck under your fingernail.  I did not enjoy doing the dishes tonight.  No sir, not at all.

Lets think strategy here. You are standing on the left turn median. You have your pity sign up – “University student needs money for bus fare back home before beginning of semester”.  You are getting change from strangers. Perhaps, just perhaps you shouldn’t be lighting up your crack pipe at the same time? As an “University student” you know this doesn’t lend credibility to your argument right?

If you go straight into an intersection by mistake on a left turn signal…. DON’T continue into the intersection more than a little…. DON’T give me the finger and freak out that I want to turn left (I have the turn signal moron)… DON’T stop to yell at me. If you HAVE to do all this you must under NO circumstances freak out when you realize that you are running a red light, and under NO circumstances begin TO BACK UP when you are almost clear of the intersection – thereby blocking me a second time and almost backing into me. I swear, I wish I had the power to revoke drivers licenses. I’d have a nice collection just from today. I could put them on my fridge or something… or give my shredder a workout. Gah!