Today I had an exciting letter from my TelephoneCompanyTM. Aside from blathering on about how wonderful they were, they sent me something rather strange. There was this 6 inch long stick of… something. It was attached to a piece of paper that read:
Enjoy your honey stick! Clip offf the end, stir it into your favourite hot beverage, then relax and imagine how much sweeter your Internet experience would be without annoying spam, viruses and popup-ads!
What? The TelephoneCompanyTM is sending me stuff to mix into my FOOD? Is this really a good idea? I'll bet there is some kind of mind control drug in there… soon I'd be chanting how great the TelephoneCompanyTM is and how wonderful their #&#^@#&$@# honey stick was. Never-mind that the TelephoneCompanyTM has internet service that is riddled with spam, viruses cannot get at my operating system, and my OS's built in browser block popups by default. I am also allergic to honey – maybe this was an attempt on my life? Damned TelephoneCompanyTM!!!!!