Well, a lot has happened lately. Most of it, however, has been good stuff. Therefore it will not be explored here. After all, this is not a damn diary. This, as the title suggests, is a rant page. Sure, I may offer the odd event in my life, but only because Im complaining about it. Those recent wonderful moments I’ve experienced will not be found here. Im prepared to ignore the word “Daily” if you are….
I finally graduated from CementLandTM. I now offically have a Bachelor of Science degree in Biological Sciences with a concentration in Ecology, and an Extended Minor in Psychology. In what can only be considered a natural progression, today I applied for a job washing windows for minimum wage. Sadly, my absence from CementLandTM might limit the scope of the material available for me to complain about here. THIS is why I hung onto the place for so long, due to the continual rant material. Sadly, I am still without employment a few months later. Im just looking for ANYTHING right now. Donations are accepted. No coins, please.
The actual ceremony at CementLandTM (in terms of graduation) was a rather boring affair. I was once interested in these things, and watched many of them when I first started to attend CementLandTM. So when it became time to attend my own, there was certainly no suprise in terms of the actual events. Convocation time had always been a bit of an annoyance in terms of being a student. Crowded hallways, the infernal bagpipes drowning out tutorials, and being in a great many grad photos and videos unwittingly. The only thing, after the initial novelty had worn off, was that this was one of the few times that you really saw the campus keep “itself” really clean. Oh, and the bookstore jacked up the prices of picture frames, flowers, CementLandTM, and put those extra special CementLandTM graduation pimp rings on display once again.
I didn’t actually participate in the ceremony – I watched from the crowd. I didn’t want to attend the damn thing at all, but I sort of got forced into it. I can’t tell you how enjoyable it was to listen to pages and pages of names being called, pages and pages of those persons walking across the stage, and pages and pages of time to wonder when it will be over. I especially liked the part where the lead CementLandTM bureaucrat got up there and basically patted himself and his administration on the back for 15 minutes. This was only slightly nauseating, even though he openly abused such terms as “democracy” and “integrity”. Whats new? Oh well, if anything interesting had decided to occur, I wouldn’t have missed it.
Recently I went to McDonalds (we all hit bottom occasionally…) for a “meal”. What concerns me about this, ignoring the fact that I went in the first place, was the rather ominous tone of the message on the receipt. “We’ll be seeing a lot of each other” has a decidedly sinister feel to it. Notice that it is NOT “We MIGHT be seeing a lot of each other”. Rather, it suggests we WILL. What bothers me is the confidence with which this message is delivered. Its seems that we have no choice – it is a predetermined outcome. This leads my mind to other thoughts (naturally). WHY are they so damned confident that we will return for another trough full McSlopTM? Is there something IN the McSlopTM that stirs some physiological dependence and has us coming back just to get our fix? I don’t know. If it is there, its probably defined in some legal document as the “McFeelingTM“. I think the “McFeelingTM” can also be defined as the sensation one gets when they are sitting in their car in the parking lot wondering how they could abuse thier body in such a haneous manner.
I earlier discussed something about McDicks not having an overhand on the roof above their drive through area. I have noticed that Burger Kind DOES. I have no idea why this is, but it probably relates to the afforementioned physiological dependence on the McSlopTM. I think that they KNOW we will be coming back, and so what if we get a little wet? Burger Kind has to work a little harder to please.
This week I learned that the absolute optimum time to go and attempt to cash a cheque at the bank is the first day of the month after a long weekend. I have never been in a bank lineup for 45 minutes before. I will not cry if it never happens again. I was trapped in line behind this older woman with a clinically diagnosable case of BO. It actually attempted to melted my bank card at one point (I thwarted the attempt). Sure, I could have gone to the bank machine to deposit my cheque, but I actually NEEDED the 20 dollars in nickels that I had rolled in order to make rent. This sucks from many angles.
I was originally blaming my having lost 20 pounds on the fact that I have been largely subsisting on rice made at home and the culinary generosity of friends. Rice just doesn’t go that far, no matter what you might envision it actually being. However, during a recent trip to CementLandTM I realized that I was eating M&M’s or something like that. Could it be the chocolate bar and cans of pop that I was consuming everyday that did this to me? It might in fact be their absence that has rendered me less weighty. Actually, my BMI no longer suggests that I am a “thin fat person”.