I have noticed how commercials tend to put a positive spin on their product. This is probably not a new strategy, as it likely has been a fixture in Advertising 101 classes since the beginning. I wonder how hard this is, sitting around the advertising table***, when you know your product is crap. I mean, come on, sometimes it must just be obvious. Obvious too, is the fact that people will buy your piece of crap and you could stand to make a lot of money depending upon just how many suckers reside within the geographic scope of your advertising campaign.
All of these thoughts occurred to me as I attempted to get to sleep while listening to the radio late last night (there are better ways). There was a commercial on about how you can learn to speed read. They seemed quite proud of the fact that their method didn’t involve such hassles as having to run your fingers down the page. Imagine! I don’t have to instantly “memorize” a page of text with that annoying finger getting in the way! Sure I may glance at a page and notice interesting words all over it, with sometimes one or two from separate parts of the page catching my eye, which I guess this “method” is based. I still think that it is bullshit.
Part of reading a book is the time spent reading. If I could read a book cover to cover in as much time as it took to turn all the pages, then I would read far fewer books. Even if I could remember exactly what every character did, said, etc., part of the experience of reading a book is the actual reading. I would be robbing myself of escaping reality for a while if I were to employ this quick read method. So sorry advertising campaign, your QuickReadTM method won’t become mine, and aside from the fact that I think that your product is bullshit, I will continue reading books the old fashioned way. Besides, if I were turning the pages that quickly, I would probably bleed to death from the ensuing paper cuts.
“I took a speed waiting course, now I can wait and hour in only 20 minutes!” – Steven Wright
***Which reminds me, as soon as I said “advertising table”, I was reminded of this commercial for a rental car company. I kind of like this website actually (http://www.adcritic.com), there are lot of commercials that are good for a variety of reasons. Some are funny, some are just very clever, and where else can you watch the cat herders commercial as many times as you want?