Tonight it is Hallowe’en, an event that I have never really looked forward to, but tolerated until it was over. I never liked getting dressed up, and never got to eat the candy anyway (candy made me very sick). However, the fact that it is Halloween (no matter how much I hate it) does tell me important information today – that it really isn’t a war outside. I was afraid they blew up my car – but it was only a garbage can. Boooom! Today I decided to not put my mail in the mailbox near my house. I figured that I should wait until tomorrow, since my mail would likely be cooling ashes in the morning, since that particular mailbox seems to be on fire a lot anyway. Where I grew up we were “lucky” if 5 trick-or-treaters came to our door. Here, in Coquitlam (significantly more urban) it was like a constant symphony of doorbells, shrieks, screams. I live in the basement, so I didn’t answer the door. It did take some getting used to (this is the first Hallowe’en I have spent at home even though I have lived here 3 years). I am used to the dog barking right after the doorbell rings. Where is the barking dog? Hallowe’en isn’t complete without a barking dog!?
The other day I was reminded about someone I “knew” in High school. He used to go into the bank, take about 5 deposit/withdraw slips and write things on the back. This, in itself, may seem innocuous (relatively). Of course, he used to write bad things. For example: “This is a Robbery! Give me all your money! I have a gun!” I can only guess as to what sort of shenanigans this would cause when the teller turns over the slip to stamp it. He never stuck around to find out, but it could have been interesting. I’ve been cautiously checking my bank slips ever since…
I was telling this story on a field trip and people were appalled! Someone thought I was the one who did it! So I told the story of an old woman (to direct suspicion away from myself) I followed while driving. I noticed that she was weaving around a lot, and overran the stop line at an intersection like it wasn’t there. Then she ran a red and thread the needle between two trucks. When I caught up to her I expected that she was drunk, or she was on her cell phone (indistinguishable often). She wasn’t doing either. She was hunched over the dash, gripping the steering wheel with only one hand. The other, was holding…… binoculars. Guess she lost her glasses! I have always wondered why I just drove past and didn’t report her.
Hello? 911?
Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m all for cynicism but read the following excerpt from an ad:
If a $750 rebate doesn’t seem like much now, just wait until you see your first paycheque!
You’ll need all the help you can get. That’s why there is the $750 grad rebate. Use it in
combinations with any other offer to purchase any new…. …. including the completely
redesigned Neon. Unfortunately, you won’t be able to afford to take it anywhere!
Isn’t this just being a little bit harsh? It’s not like all of us have crappy jobs immediately after graduation is it? Geez!
I’m just curious why all the vaccination/blood donor clinics I have ever seen at schools have always taken place in cafeterias. I was by the SFU donor clinic the other day and I noticed someone who freaked out when she saw the needle (how did they think they extracted it?). Maybe it was just a bad food flashback. It’s not like they waved it in her face like the dentist likes to! Actually I saw more than a few white/green faces there. One girl walked by with her hands held up so that she couldn’t see it (the people lying down with needles in their arms). I also saw someone who appeared to be grossly violating the cookie limit. Get the campus security forces in there right now! Hell, they harass ME in the library, why not fight actual “crime”? Well last week I had an interesting field trip to the UBC research forest. It was not so much interesting because of the actual content but because of the vehicle we drove there in. I volunteered to drive (a university vehicle) because: 1) I like to drive 2) the last time someone from class drove “we” nearly killed a bicyclist (who was rather pissed off at his near death experience). The SFU Biology minivan and I had an amicable relationship until I decided to use the brakes. You see, there is a big curve at the bottom of one side of Burnaby mountain. It seemed that someone decided that the fast lane at the bottom would be a great place to stop and park (a whole entry could be devoted to just that one stupid person), so people had to jam on their brakes to avoid “smucking” the apparently disabled car. Anyway, I jammed on my brakes only to find that they were basically nonexistent. Just before I was to enact my decision to drive up onto the shoulder rather than rear-end about 10 of my class mates, I managed to stop the MinivanFromHellTM. Now, my passengers didn’t really know what the hell was going on, since it just appeared that I had stopped neatly about a foot behind the other van. What they didn’t know is that I had the pedal jammed to the floor for the last 150 meters. Wow – that got my attention! Then the stench of burning brakes hit us, and we had to open the windows. When we reached the forest, someone commented on the brake smell, which was still apparent even an hour’s drive later. I got my revenge, however. I “bottomed-out” the MinivanFromHellTM a number of times on the gravel road in the research forest. The metallic bang and the sound of spraying gravel is most satisfying if you want revenge on a MinivanFromHell TM, and it isn’t your vehicle! This being an SFU vehicle, I suppose that they will probably give it a brake job sometime next year, or when people are killed, which ever comes first.