Welcome to the REAL Millennium

Sorry, that I must obstinately point that out. Someone younger yet “wiser” pointed out to me that “…the majority of mankind decided the millennium was last year, I guess it is.” First, I would like to point out that myhaving utilized that dirtiest of all words, “mankind”, is in order to quote this person accurately (I swear!). I remember back when this page was first starting that I got a lot of crap over it. Deal with it, even though I have decided to walk close to the fire once again. If the majority of “mankind” decided to jump off a bridge… would you too? A lot of the population at large believes things that are untrue, and yet are reported in the media anyway. So the 1999/2000 New Year was touted as the “New Millennium” in the media… so what? Just because everyone else cannot count just doesn’t mean that I have to follow the same path. Of course, last New Years Eve, I was at a party surrounded by friends who, presumably, believed that they were ushering in a new millennium. I didn’t decide to raise the issue then and even though I felt like celebrating, it wasn’t because of a new millennium. This year, the 2000/20001 New Years Eve, where was I? Channel surfing! Damn, maybe I should have swallowed all that millennium tripe last year?

Still, somehow everything feels the same as it did in 2000. Everything tastes the same. Everything looks the same. Everything smells the same. I am still writing 1999 on my updates at the beginning, on my cheques, and presumably soon on my class notes. Maybe I’m stuck in the past. Maybe I’m losing what little of my mind is actually left at this point?

I noticed that a rather large quantity of music I listen to on purpose was created either before I was born or shortly thereafter. Not all that much of it comes from the 90’s onward. Is this because I was born too late, have a weird taste in music, or is it because a great deal of the music nowadays is complete regurgitated, “done before”, unoriginal crap? I tend to think of it as the latter, preferring to externalize the blame. Maybe I am just getting old. Kids these days! They don’t know the real meaning of….. I’d better stop.

One of the things that happened over exam period and Christmas break was the infiltration of vermin into my place. I was not all that amused to hear a “somethingortother” (a technical, biological term) gnawing in the walls at 3 in the morning! Then it went away, but a couple of days later I woke up to a mouse playing paw-hockey with a hamburger wrapper NEXT TO MY BED! Those things are fast! Of course, I’d scamper away from my wrapper prize too if a half naked partially psychotic Homo sapiens was pursuing me waving a steel-toed boot! Well, needless to say, this did not have a relaxing effect on my day, nor my sleeping the rest of the night.A friend of mine, in his usual comforting style, said the following:

“I can just picture you….Hockey helmet on, Umpire’s chest pad, gloves,
knee pads, flashlight, a knife taped to the end of a broomstick, hiding
behind an overturned couch waiting to ambush a little mouse. You are a soldier!”

Right. I’m a soldier and he’s a jackass who has a way with words. I take his insolence because of the entertainment value that it frequently affords me.Well, in the end, the forces of evil (me) triumphed over the forces of nature (mouse). SNAP!

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