Today, lacking better judgment, I delved into the world of the perilous. Not having “safe” options before me, like diving into a boiling vat of acid or a pool filled with scorpions, it seems that I had to turn to the dangerous task of cleaning my apartment.
One of the things that I usually don’t like about cleaning my place is the surprise findings that normally turn up under couches, beds, or behind things. New forms of life, evolving sentience right behind my couch. But this is not what I want to talk about at this time, rather, I would like to describe how I was assaulted by my very own vacuum cleaner. You see, my vacuum cleaner is equipped with a technology referred to by the manufacturer as Magicord™. This insidious device is designed to pull the electrical cord back into the body of the vacuum. The problem is that it seems to know the least convenient time to do so and…horrible things occur as a result. When I turned by back on the small green beast it proceeded to pull the Magicord™ out of the wall socket where it proceeded to whip the back of my leg. It was probably aiming for my back or, perish the thought, hoping to encircle my head. While it did not kill me, I am sure that it is still looking for the chance, not merely satisfied with the nasty red mark it left on my right calf.
Now I know why nature abhors a vacuum. Don’t turn your back.